becoming a ‘single’ step-mum

I’m going to be a ‘single’ step-mum.

It’s almost an oxymoron right?

As most of you know, I’m not a biological mother; I’m a step-mum to Mr Loud’s daughter, Little Loud.

Mr Loud has just accepted a new job that will see him having to move interstate leaving Little Loud and I here in Brisbane. In order to not disrupt the schedule of shared care for Little Loud, I will continue on as though Mr Loud is here, and look after Little Loud on our regular care days, becoming somewhat of a ‘single step-mum’.

All three of us are going to go through an adjustment period of course. Mr Loud will be living away from us, and after an initial period of coming home to visit us every weekend, we will end up seeing him about once a month (very much like what the FIFO workers at the mines do). I will have to take on more responsibility for Little Loud as Mr Loud won’t be able to share it with me, and Little Loud will have to adjust to it just being her and I for a period of time.

I know it won’t be easy; for any of us. Yet I have complete faith that

a) Little Loud is a tough little cookie and will deal with the change quite well, and

b) that this is such a positive thing for our family, that only good can come from it.

So to make it easy on all of us, there will be LOTS of Skype calls (especially when Little Loud is with me – this way she is still seeing her Dad, she just can’t physically get a cuddle from him etc.). We are also making it a positive experience, explaining that Dad has to go to work on a plane, and that means he can’t come home every day but he’s doing it to be able to buy us food, clothes and special treats. It also means Little Loud will eventually get her very first plane trip when we go down to visit Mr Loud – she is already quite excited by this prospect.

Many others might ask me why I would do such a thing; why would I take on another man’s child when he’s not around to help look after her? Well, simple really. We are a family. Little Loud actually doesn’t remember me not being in her life. Can you imagine how much harder such a change would be for her to not only not see her Dad, but to also not come to her home with us, with her bedroom, toys, clothes and pets, and to then also not see me. Someone that she doesn’t call ‘mum’ but acts in the capacity of a mother; it would be a monumental change in her life if we ripped all that out from underneath her.

So that means I’m going to do my best to step up to the plate, to make this work for the Loud household, and to hope that one day Little Loud will understand that while it was hard on all of us, it was something that was done with ‘family’ in mind the whole time.

LL1

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3 thoughts on “becoming a ‘single’ step-mum

  1. Pingback: not another manic monday | Out Loud

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